About a year ago I wrote about my struggles to make time for art and shared some of the things that had helped me. Being a stay at home mom and an artist has been pretty tricky at times and I know I’m not the only one in this so I thought I’d write a follow up post now.
It’s been a little over a year and a lot has changed. My son is three now, he’s fully potty trained, and more independent than ever. He’s also FULL of energy and pretty much entertains himself all day long, which has helped quite a lot. A lot has also changed with how I approach my art.
I think that one of the reasons why being a stay at home mom and an artist is so difficult is because we can get lost in being a mom – it becomes our whole world, our identity, and it’s hard to see who we are outside of that. It’s also incredibly hard not to feel guilty when we want to pursue other things, when we want to spend our time doing something other than caring for our children. I think the key is to not lose sight of the importance of our role as mother, but to also value our role as artist and learn how to balance the two.
When I first began to pursue doll making my son had recently started playing by himself. It was wonderful and this freed me up to spend time sculpting without having to entertain him. My “studio” is simply a corner of our living room just outside his bedroom, so he would go play and I’d sit at my desk sculpting. It was the first time I’d spent any time doing art while my son was awake and in the beginning I felt so guilty. He would still come ask me to do things with him and I’d tell him I wasn’t able to, that I was busy. I felt almost as if I was telling him that he wasn’t important. It took me a little while to realize that no, I was in fact telling him that my art was important and that I didn’t need to spend every waking minute of the day focusing on him.
My husband and I began to use the phrase “mommy’s working” when talking with my son. This changed everything. I began to take my work more seriously. It started to feel less like a hobby and more like a job. I felt less and less guilty as time went on. I was teaching my son that he wasn’t the center of the universe. I was teaching him that art is a big deal and a big part of my life and who I am. And I certainly wasn’t ignoring or neglecting him. Even when I’m working, I’m always available to him. He often hangs out with me and watches me work. To this day, he is probably my biggest fan. He loves to sit and watch me work and always exclaims, “Wow, mommy! You did a good job!” whenever I create something. I also see him getting inspired to work on art as well. Often when I’m sculpting he will come watch for awhile and then ask if he can play with Play-Doh, or if he sees me drawing or painting he will ask to also be able to color or paint. I love seeing my creativity spark creativity in my son, and it allows us to do things together. As time has gone on he has gotten used to the idea that sometimes mommy is working and even though he can come talk to me or hang out with me that I am busy. I was making time for me and learning how to balance art and motherhood and as a result my art flourished. I flourished.
Viewing my hobby as a job has been a total game changer for me. I am my own boss and I’m constantly thinking about what I want to do, where I want to take my art and figuring out ways to get there. It has helped me to assess my priorities, set goals for myself, and implement plans to work towards them. It has helped me to grow tremendously as an artist and built up my confidence as I see myself doing things I never thought I could.
Just a few weeks ago as we entered into the new year I sat down and thought about how far I’d come with doll making. I started out not knowing what I was doing, carved out some time each day and worked away at it for months and months. Eventually I opened up a shop and began selling my dolls. A dream come true! And I began to think about some of the other things I’ve always wanted to do, like painting. I began to think, “Why not?” and “Let’s do it!” So I reassessed my priorities, wrote out some new goals, and made a new schedule for myself. And now in addition to doll making I’m also learning how to draw and paint. I am so excited and I can’t wait to see how far I’ve come in this next year!! Next blog post I hope to share my new schedule with you, but for now, I’d love to hear your thoughts on balancing art and motherhood. How do you make it work? What has helped you the most?
Great post! My kids now are at the kindergarten in the mornings, so I basically work mornings and evenings. But I’ve learned with the time that there are things I can do when they’re around, like drawing or working at the shop. As you say, it’s difficult to deal with guilt, sometimes, but it is important also for the kids to learn that we’re working and respect our limits.
I think they’re great. In general as an artist mom it’s always a big struggle to convince people that I’m working for real, and I must admit that it helps me a lot to have my little supporters – plus we love to copy each other drawings, it is so inspiring!
I totally agree Silvia!! It really helps having the support, and I often get inspired when I see my son’s enthusiasm. I also totally rely on my husband’s support. He’s the one who first started using the phrase “mommy’s working.” At first it sounded silly, but eventually I started to believe in what I was doing. He’s never once treated my work like a silly waste of time and I think that has helped so much. I look forward to when my son goes to school in a few years, although I also kind of dread it if I’m honest. I think one of the hard things about our situation is that kid’s are always changing, and as they grow and change so does our schedule. It can be hard to adapt sometimes. I’m really glad you have found the time to work on your art and that you have support. Way to go mamma!! You are teaching those kiddies valuable lessons!! Your dedication to your work will leave a lasting imprint on them. And thanks so much for taking the time to read my post. It helps knowing I’m not the only mom struggling with building an art career.